Cling to You

Lord, I'd like to start by saying I could hate where I'm at...
When this life I've sinned, and situation take me aback...
And when I tried so hard but it seems that I could never taken a step
To come back to You, Lord, I'm sick and tired of all of these crap...

Slip out the back

I'm no hero, you remember how I was, you know
All I ever did was worry, feeling out of control
To the point where everything was going end over end
I'm spinning around in circles again
This is where you come in
All of this to explain to you why
I had to separate myself away from yesterday's life
Please remember this isn't how I hoped it would be
But I had to protect you from me
Thats why I slipped out the back before you knew I was there
I know you felt unprepared
But every single time I was around I just bring you down
And I could tell that it was time to be scared
Thats why I slipped out the back before you knew I was there
And I know the way I left wasn't fair
I didn't want to be around just to bring you down
I'm not a hero but don't think I didn't care

Unworthy

Angel or firework...
I don't deserve any of them.

The smell...

Does the smell on the forehead all the same?
Or was it because there's a special relationship between us that even our face, our forehead smells the same?
Sometimes when I smell my forehead, I smell her...
And when I smell her again... All the heartache returns... Each time it seems like 10-folded...

Lame story

Once there was a guy, who found his love, Miss A.
She was such a blessing to him, and they were in love.
But when Mr. Selfish came in, he destroyed EVERY SINGLE THING between them.
Be it promises, communications, memories, or love.
And that guy was made to not believe in love anymore because he was hurt by his own Mr. Selfish.
But one day he met Miss B.
Miss B lets him see the hope of being in love again.
But as the old saying goes, 'once bitten twice shy', he doesn't dare to hope so much for this again.
So now this is completely bullshit, and he is sick and tired of all these.
No matter how much he needs love and want to have love, he will never seems to be worthy for it because he is just a piece of shit.

The end.

Miss A, Miss B... Miss C is not here yet.

Miss A made his heart break, while Miss B makes his heart go fonder...

Inception - From happiness to sorrowful

What a way to start my day, with tears rolling down my pillow

I dreamt of B, then dreamt of A, they both can fill my heart's hollow

The dream of B is nice and sweet, but the dream with A is sorrow.

She hug and cuddle, she hug and cuddle, while my tears roll down my pillow.

Having a house, a automobile, and a dog...

Just really wanna get started in my life being a missionary/co-worker, or a guy pursuing his career... Really want to stay in my hometown - Penang, live in the house with a dog, and also having a automobile be it motorcycle or car... Plus.. A punching bag in the house and a pull-up bar...

Laughter might hide your sadness. But when the laughter is gone, the sadness remains. (Proverbs 14:13 ERV)

You should die with your loneliness

Below is my exact prayer...

After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day.

² And Job spake, and said,

³ Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived.

⁴ Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.

⁵ Let darkness and the shadow of death stain it; let a cloud dwell upon it; let the blackness of the day terrify it.

⁶ As for that night, let darkness seize upon it; let it not be joined unto the days of the year, let it not come into the number of the months.

⁷ Lo, let that night be solitary, let no joyful voice come therein.

⁸ Let them curse it that curse the day, who are ready to raise up their mourning.

⁹ Let the stars of the twilight thereof be dark; let it look for light, but have none; neither let it see the dawning of the day:

¹⁰ Because it shut not up the doors of my mother's womb, nor hid sorrow from mine eyes.

¹¹ Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?

¹² Why did the knees prevent me? or why the breasts that I should suck?

¹³ For now should I have lain still and been quiet, I should have slept: then had I been at rest,

¹⁴ With kings and counsellors of the earth, which build desolate places for themselves;

¹⁵ Or with princes that had gold, who filled their houses with silver:

¹⁶ Or as an hidden untimely birth I had not been; as infants which never saw light.

¹⁷ There the wicked cease from troubling; and there the weary be at rest.

¹⁸ There the prisoners rest together; they hear not the voice of the oppressor.

¹⁹ The small and great are there; and the servant is free from his master.

²⁰ Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul;

²¹ Which long for death, but it cometh not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures;

²² Which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad, when they can find the grave?

²³ Why is light given to a man whose way is hid, and whom God hath hedged in?

²⁴ For my sighing cometh before I eat, and my roarings are poured out like the waters.

²⁵ For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.

²⁶ I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.

"Whoever you love are so pitiful and damned."

There she goes, finally admitting it.

Cursed be upon me... This useless trash...

"I love you".

Don't be fooling yourself.

You don't know love.

You can't love.

And that's your curse.

The ultra sad feeling is back...
Where I ruined all my happiness away again...
Tears come flowing around my eyes as she called...
Words got stuck at the throat and thoughts went blank...


I guess it's not me refusing to choose or open up for another relationship...
It's that I no longer deserve any other relationship than this failed one...

Wretched be onto me.