First love

The whole of our Christian life can so easily become obligation, duty, ritual, or religious works. We think we have to do these things to stay in good standing with God and the Church.
We do what we think we have to do to be good Christians.

Think about it, do you pray because you have to, or because you are so in love with Jesus that you will take every opportunity to talk to Him?

Do you come to church because you love being in His presence, being with the people of God, or because you feel like you should, to keep up appearances?

Do you worship God when you like the song or the worship leader, or because you are so in love with Jesus that every praise song is a love song to Him?

Do you serve God because you feel like you should, or because the greatest desire in your heart is to do those things that will cause Jesus to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant"?

Do you put in tithes and offerings because you are afraid not to, or because you are so excited about Jesus that you want the whole world to know?

These are good questions because they make us think about our motives, they reveal our hearts in regard to our love for Him.

我的期待慢慢變成無奈...

把溫暖放回口袋...

零

從來不相信我的世界可以有多完美　痛苦寂寞還有一些疲憊
不允許他人隨意進入我的零度空間　寧願孤獨懶得再去想誰
*
兩個人一起是否只是得到一種安慰　掙脫過去然後忘記一切
沒想過有天我的結局忽然全部改變　誰會抓住我的無力雙臂
怎麼會哭(誰錯誰對 為誰抱歉)
不會再哭(誰錯誰對 為誰憔悴)
走入零度空間等到一切分裂　就算愛的危險我們一起面對
來不及的防備沒聽過的誓言　要我怎麼學會多了愛的明天
*
走出零度空間終於一切分裂　就算愛的很累我卻不會後悔
放下所有防備一切都無所謂　逃出黑暗世界開始新的明天　新的明天**

幸福背后

 
那么暖…你的温度

安静的依偎着那

短暂幸福

爱就算满足

却是个未知数

我们的天长地久

要走多远才能看见

越是幸福越害怕

怕它会结束

越拥抱却越是孤独

没人了解的寂寞

我自己照顾

不想让你发现我

凌乱的脚步

我努力跟上你的速度

不再独自感受

那幸福背后藏的辛苦

那么快你的甜苦

应该让我的灰色

快乐全部

爱让人喜悦

就算会有变数

只要能拥有一秒

有多辛苦我愿付出

越是幸福越害怕

怕它会结束

越拥抱却越是孤独

没人了解的寂寞

我自己照顾

不想让你发现我

凌乱的脚步

我努力跟上你的速度

不再独自感受

那幸福背后藏的辛苦

สุภาษิต 14:13

แม้ใจของคนที่หัวเราะก็เศร้า และที่สุดของความชื่นบานนั้นคือความโศกสลด


내 행복 돌아 올 것이다…

สุภาษิต สิบสาม:สิบสอง

ความหวังที่ถูกหน่วงไว้ทำให้ใจเจ็บช้ำ แต่ความปรารถนาที่สำเร็จแล้วเป็นต้นไม้แห่งชีวิต

หัวใจป่วยในชีวิตประจำวัน...

味道

昨天晚上的星星很少
不知道它们跑那去了
赤裸裸的天空
星星多寂廖
我以为伤心可以很少
我以为我能过的很好
谁知道一想你
思念苦无药

无处可逃

想念你的笑
我想念你的外套
想念你连身裙子
和你身上的味道

我想念你的吻
和你头发淡香的味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道

昨天晚上心事不少
不知道这样算好不好
赤裸裸的寂寞
朝着心头绕
我以为伤心可以很少
我以为我能过的很好
谁知道一想你
思念苦无药

无处可逃

想念你的笑
我想念你的外套
想念你连身裙子
和你身上的味道

我想念你的吻
和头发上那淡香味道
记忆中曾被爱的味道

十年之前，我不认识你，你不属于我...
我们还是一样，配在一个陌生人左右，走过间间熟悉的街头...

感谢主，没有时光机...

Check in

ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch check me in now (x3)
check me in

I know im sick and my addiction got me itchin everyday i need a fixin', i aint quitin till it kill me
ya hear me, i like the feel but hate the taste of the product, like the numb on the tongue when you taste narcotics
the bass gets to bumpin, you can feel what im drumin, death is comin, i tryna warn em, thats why i was summoned
i know that they dont want it, they want what they cant have, euphoria come and go but its somethin u cant grasp
yeah, we graspin for emptiness, hopin we can catch somethin
hands full of scars, cuts, burns, as the flesh wants verge of insanity,
stop me 'for im gone, i say im gon' quit but im at it in the morn'
it goes on and on and on and now im used to it
this a lifestyle and now i dont know what else to do
got a war inside my soul, and its wantin' to break through



im ready for rehab, jus' do watcha gon' do

rehab, rehab, re ha hab ready for rehab (X4)
rehab

ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch check me in now (x3)

rehab, rehab, re ha hab ready for rehab (X4)
rehab

不能说的秘密

一个人回到了房间
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见
最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
又何必去改变已走过的世界
你用你的指尖阻止我说抱歉
想象你在身边在完全失去之前

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许神的安排只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这短短的几年
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡...?

Aftermath

People say there's side effect from abortion... And it really is...

You'd suffer depression because of the lost, unable to conceive properly next time, or simply the ghost of the child will come back and haunt you.

Yes, I know, ghost is a thing Satan uses to disturb, possess, or to harm you. And it is happening now...

Lord, let the ghost of the "baby" die off. It's haunting me all day long...
It may seems like a fantasy, but I know it's also a nightmare... Or I'd like to call it, a dream that haven't or wouldn't come true...

Sigh...

I love abortion!!!

Hold on...!

Before you pass any judgment to me, let me explain.

I totally do not support child abortion, in fact I hate it...

What I mean here is sin abortion!

Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. (James 1:15)

Let's have abortion!!!

Abort this abomination of desires! No matter how many mouths old, just have an abortion!!!

Lord, my Best Doctor, please abort the evil desires and sin in my life that I've conceived... In Jesus' name, amen

So far apart, day after day,
And I slowly go insane.
I hear your voice on the line,
But it doesn't stop the pain...

Love walks with God

By this all people will know you're My disciples, if you have love for one another.
(John 13:35)

Walking with God is better than a thousand marriage books or counseling sessions.

Painache

Wisdom tooth got pulled out and it causes me ache,
but it still can't makes me forget about my own heartache.
Painkiller might stop the ache, but can't stop my heart pain,
but let's not stop, and forgot, what was our aim.

Today can be a new beginning for me.

Even I doesn't want to marry me.

Cling to You

Lord, it may get better but it may not
So when I pray, God, I pray I would trust You whether or not the pain stops.
So when the pain falls, coming down like rain drops,
I just gotta cling to You.

Just say "no" / Force field

Monopoly deal... The new addiction for everyone...
Just hope that we don't get addicted and it became a stumbling block for us that make us become obsessed with it and forget about the Lord's work. Just say "no" to it when necessary...

It's so hard to type with numb fingers...
Argh!

That was brutal... Haha!

14c degree... Plus rain... I really need to get some motorbike gloves... Because my hand was frozen just now! Literally! Wow! Raincoat + jacket + a T-shirt still not enough, I was still freezing! Haha! And the motorbike helmet can't see well in the rain! Steady la... Lol...

Tears

Babies cry because they couldn't explain or express the un-comfort, the hurt they have.
Babies cry because they can't do anything about it to change their uncomfort or hurt.

Feeling really helpless with the salvation of my parents...
Really really helpless...

Leaders lead by pulling
Not pushing

Not a leader

I look over my shoulder...
No one is there...
No body is following my lead...
No body is heeding my instructions...

I'm wondering if I should study Bible college...
Even so, I am afraid that I can't lead...

And now just 13 more days... And I've got to "teach" people how to lead...
How ironic...

Indeed.....

Pretty lies from the devil

It is so sad to love animal more than men...

It is so stupid to condemn or curse them because of one dog or cat...

Even though they are cruel and mindless, but their souls is so much more valuable than these beasts!

Jesus Christ died for every men... But not for even one single animals.

Wake up your mind! Don't curse and condemn these people because they beat their cat/dog! Don't become even more mindless than them!

I got a friend name, Lonely.
And I hate him very much.

Why did I threw away my pride? Because I am afraid that I'd become proud...
But I'm gonna take it back again, but, not to be proud, but to do my God proud.

不可叫人小看你年輕．總要在言語、行為、愛心、信心、清潔上．都作信徒的榜樣。
(提摩太前書 四12）

Aint gonna care if all look down on me, but I ain't gonna look down on myself, I'll pick up the pride I used to threw away to stand strong, to do my God, my Lord Jesus proud.

C'mon Vic, it's time to get pumped up and ready to go.

爱, 情

Going to a place where it would take 5-6 hours to get there tomorrow...
Going there for a wedding of our friend.
How many weddings have I attended in my life? Hmmm...
How many more weddings do I have to attend before it's my turn?

The 5 Ws and one Hs of my beloved is what I've reminded myself from time to time...
Except that I add one more W and that is Why.

Why do people get married when divorce is part of the option?

The reason that triggers for my parents to get married is me. (Yes, I am a bastard)
And the reason that triggers my parent's divorce is also me.

One of my female friend same age as me is already a mother now. They got married because of her pregnancy... I wonder how long their marriage is gonna last?

One of my male friend was married, had a daughter about 2 years old now... But divorced...

One of my another male friend is married too, no child yet, but I also wonder how long they are going to last...

When you don't want God to lock your wedlock for you, most probably end up miserably even if you don't divorce... Because you still hold the key for your marriage, and you can unlock it anytime you want...

I just pray that God would be the wedlock for my marriage next time...


For better or for worse...



It takes a moment to say "I love you" but a life-time to prove it.

Ba Lu ku

I got so emotionally raged yesterday that there's a bump grew up behind my head...
我想我脑充血，暴血管死是迟早的事...
Hahaha~

Valentine's Day

My hearts all filled with loneliness, so cold
But there's no way that I'd ever let go
A thousand miles spilt away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night

And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
I used to be my own protection, but not now
Cause my path had found direction, somehow
A thousand miles spilt away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night

And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
And the heart inside grew lonelier
Cause you're not here by my side,
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

So now my dear, erase my fear
Cause I always knew what it was like, to be alone

On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my path had found direction, somehow)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my path had found direction, somehow)

"I have said too much already.
I have nothing more to say." (Job 40:5)

Contagious

We know that evil is contagious...

But do we know that God is contagious too?

Exodus 34:29-35


LORD, my Lord, my Jealous God whose name is Jealous.
I pray that I can "catch" this radiant of Yours, just like Moses.
We are made in Your image, and thus, I want to represent You.
Lord, let me draw close to You and not put a cloud of pillar blocking between You and me...
I know I do not deserve to meet You but I just want to draw near to You.
And when I draw near to You, I would be filled with Your radiant, and everybody can see.
In Jesus' name I seek, amen.

Forever with her and God

Oh Lord... I really want to marry her as soon as possible...

I just simply love my beloved...
Can't wait for you to be here!!!

Wish you are here...

主工人该有的态度

直言定罪
一针见血
一刀两段
单刀直入
长驱直进

John the Baptist

I want to be like John the Baptist.
Preparing the way for the Lord.
Preach the Gospel of repentant.
Don't care about this stupid world but divert myself away from it, living in the "wilderness".
That's the spirit for those who preach for the Lord.

Break my heart or Melt my heart

All these while trying to remind myself and her not to worry, but in the end, the negative dark thoughts creeps into my heart this morning.

You know, when the words of men and words of this stupid retarded world came into my mind, it only breaks my heart and fill it with two things. Anger.... and Hatred....

I don't want to hear any more of that bull-crap that only keeps breaking my heart right now. Makes me piss off at (who-knows-what) and just keep frowning and growing the bitterness in me.

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly." (Colossians 3:16)

I don't want to care about all these stupid world's view and these people equipped with that kind of retarded view. I want to keep to my vow, and just keep seeking holiness in Christ. I just want to let the word of Christ dwell in me richly.

If I am only eligible after I earn $4000+ a month, got a freaking diploma or degree, then forget it. I aren't gonna join that crap. Go find someone else.
Good luck to all those rich dude out there! May you guys be able to enter the Kingdom of God like the camel through the eye of the needle! Have fun trying!




When the Word of Christ enters my heart, when the Holy Spirit shout to me, when I look at her picture or heard her voice, it melts my heart straight away...
All the nonsense is gone...
Yes, get away from my head you nasty detestable thoughts!

Be Thou Exalted

Be Thou exalted above my beloved woman.
Be Thou exalted above my family.
Be Thou exalted above my brothers and sisters.
Be Thou exalted above my possession, my wealth, my health, my emotions, my character, my attitude, my strong point, my weakness, my desires, my ambitions, my dream, and my everything.
Be Thou exalted above me.

Make me low so that You can be exalted.

Made by Jesus

I wanna do what I'm trained to do. Now, and the future.
1. Make disciples.
A. Outreach, preach the Gospel
B. Teaching the Word of God.
C. Take care of the orphans and widows.

2. Teaching.
A. Teach the truth. By living it out.
B. Teach English and Chinese.

It is just so simple and straight.
Just do it.

【可九22】「鬼屡次把他扔在火里、水里，要灭他；你若能作甚么，求你怜悯我们，帮助我们。』」

我们所有的自高自大、自负自许(「扔在火里」)，和一切的自贬自馁、自弃自戕(「水里」)的意念和行动，都是出自魔鬼。

No wonder... I was throwing myself into the fire and water these few days...
Screw those negative thoughts back to where they come from!

And Lord Jesus has DEFINITELY helped me and had mercy on me. And He is, still showing mercy and helping me.

Praise the Lord!

Victorism

I'm gonna be a Vic boy~
I'm gonna be a Vic boy~
I'm gonna be a Vic Vic boy~
I'm gonna be a Vic boy~

I gotta be Victorious so that I can see the Lord!

Mark 9:1
1 And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power.

Revelation

2:7 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.

2:11 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; He that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death.

2:17 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.

3:5 He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels.

3:12 Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name.

3:21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.

21:7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.

My name is Victor.
I gotta be... Victor.

不要放弃

当你孤单的时候.不要气馁.
当你在十字路口.不要排回.
当你难过的时候.擦干泪水.
当失望的时候.不要放弃.不要放弃.
大声唱哈利路亚.
欢喜快乐吧.勇敢往前踏.
大声唱哈利路亚.
活出神放在心中的蓝图和盼望.
张大眼睛看.神要开路啦.
打开心胸吧.神要扩张啦.
张大眼睛看.神要开路啦.
大声宣告吧.神要扩张啦.
紧紧抓住他.就会有希望.
所以不要放弃.不要放弃.不要放弃阿.

That world's exhibition was stupid and crazy and sad...
I ain't gonna do that again.

I do not like this feeling...
Very much...

我一个人吃饭、旅行、到处走走停停...
也一个人看书、写信、自己对话谈心....
只是心又飘到了哪里，就连自己看也看不清.....

Once a forest was told that a load of axe-heads had come to cut it down. "It doesn't matter in the least," said the forest, "they will never succeed by themselves." When, however, it heard that some of its own branches had become handles to the axe-heads, it said, "Now we have no chance."

So as long as they only had foreigners to deal with, they are safe, but if everywhere their own countrymen are enlisted on that side, certainly Christianity will flourish and conquer them.


I am the new axe-head in this forest.
I've got to make disciples to chop down the hardened hearts of the Thais with the Thais.

Let's embrace sorrow for tonight.....